Thursday, November 26, 2009



i never thought that my adha eid would be so cousy and stuff,
by makin a strick and strong decision that im not gonna follow my family to gambang, i by now laying down like the most lazy beyong the lazziest valley,so i woke up and ate my mom's cooking without waiting pacingly, i ate almost like i dont care or forgot that i should stop,my throat is like burning and i am uncomfortable with that.i still think about yesterday well apparently i slept 3 in the mornin on the phone i guess,after all the thoughts running through my head it snap out and i wen straight heading to my laptop, in the friggin morning,im having the feling that today is the most randomly seldomly day that i felt so empty inside and out.the net is like nothing there.reading my blog yesterday gosh updating my mind mentally and physicllyknowing that haih no matter what i wrote he just doesnt realise that,how stressfull and depresed,so i went straight to the mirror, eyebags,zits,oils u name it.messy hair,i couldnt take it to see myself, i weight myself and oh my, the numbers are just so irritating and stressful,i felt nothing less,its like the soul inside of me ran away,and im a zombie rectifying my own explicable problems
thought that came across is , movies. so waited for 10 parts of angus perfect thongs and snugging to buffer fully, and called bored to death equals to feeling all mushy and stuff,texted a while but i am so beyond the word lazy to reply, and its not like im not in the mood,its just my mind is struck once again, i cried secretly.listening to our song ''flightless bird,american mouth''
"have i found you, flightless bird"
or lost you..
yea i did lost you,so i watched angus and really did understand the story,angus is just feeling the same, same situation as i am, but the movies wickhed,after the movie finished i move to tell toilet and just clarify myself..something happened yesterday, dont wanna to think bout it.
my cousin invited me to go her house ,hm im sorry mazzie i dont know how to reach tok sira.
im alone all caught up in my own mess, im sitting relaxed almost the exams are over, theres still two paper more to go.beeha texted and asked if we can hang out tommorow, and yeah we should
the time is 2 o'clok at pavillion and movie at mid im staring at my laptop waisting the
vital times that i could us to study biology and chemistry,i wanna change im forcing myself to eat citrus fruit to hurt my soar throat more n more but finnaly i twirlled the cap of the cough syrup,my hand are shaking and i could stand being so cold when im not even close to the wind,i almost drink the whole bottle of the syrup, once more i snap out of it and took the right porpotion of it only, just because i felt nothing.what else could be done.