Thursday, November 26, 2009



i never thought that my adha eid would be so cousy and stuff,
by makin a strick and strong decision that im not gonna follow my family to gambang, i by now laying down like the most lazy beyong the lazziest valley,so i woke up and ate my mom's cooking without waiting pacingly, i ate almost like i dont care or forgot that i should stop,my throat is like burning and i am uncomfortable with that.i still think about yesterday well apparently i slept 3 in the mornin on the phone i guess,after all the thoughts running through my head it snap out and i wen straight heading to my laptop, in the friggin morning,im having the feling that today is the most randomly seldomly day that i felt so empty inside and out.the net is like nothing there.reading my blog yesterday gosh updating my mind mentally and physicllyknowing that haih no matter what i wrote he just doesnt realise that,how stressfull and depresed,so i went straight to the mirror, eyebags,zits,oils u name it.messy hair,i couldnt take it to see myself, i weight myself and oh my, the numbers are just so irritating and stressful,i felt nothing less,its like the soul inside of me ran away,and im a zombie rectifying my own explicable problems
thought that came across is , movies. so waited for 10 parts of angus perfect thongs and snugging to buffer fully, and called bored to death equals to feeling all mushy and stuff,texted a while but i am so beyond the word lazy to reply, and its not like im not in the mood,its just my mind is struck once again, i cried secretly.listening to our song ''flightless bird,american mouth''
"have i found you, flightless bird"
or lost you..
yea i did lost you,so i watched angus and really did understand the story,angus is just feeling the same, same situation as i am, but the movies wickhed,after the movie finished i move to tell toilet and just clarify myself..something happened yesterday, dont wanna to think bout it.
my cousin invited me to go her house ,hm im sorry mazzie i dont know how to reach tok sira.
im alone all caught up in my own mess, im sitting relaxed almost the exams are over, theres still two paper more to go.beeha texted and asked if we can hang out tommorow, and yeah we should
the time is 2 o'clok at pavillion and movie at mid im staring at my laptop waisting the
vital times that i could us to study biology and chemistry,i wanna change im forcing myself to eat citrus fruit to hurt my soar throat more n more but finnaly i twirlled the cap of the cough syrup,my hand are shaking and i could stand being so cold when im not even close to the wind,i almost drink the whole bottle of the syrup, once more i snap out of it and took the right porpotion of it only, just because i felt nothing.what else could be done.


hey, i miss you,
kindda needed you,
you have absolute no idea
how in dying to be with you.
when u leave, i felt like a hole is punched through my heart,the next thing i know,u were'nt there, i have to go through my live without u.


u are killing me
its very hard to breath nowdays.i miss a lot of my friends that i have been disappearing from them,xpa 2 papers to go and then i'll be free to contact all of them and insert them in my to do list,yeaa i know, im thingking about forgetting all of my plans and just rest but i dont care.
apart from that all. i miss you ahmad fauzi :(
its not like i wanted to.i just cant forget.

the reason

this is the reason for me to live.
today, hmm planned to go out with sofea and elisa,
im sorry you guys, i cant afford to tell,hmm its hard.
ok first picked up byer and went to school
i wanted to send my pasport picture but i didnt have one, i have the old ones,trust me u wanna laughed till u crack up man looking at my pictures..
then makan nasi goreng daging.mengidam haha
then loitering around then went to FOS,can see from the pictures
then went up ,played dance dance revolution since ages i didnt play that thing
me and aza,
rasmir, najib, raziman,syawal,min,byer,elisa
byer meet her boyfriend,we seprated
ecm there was iqah,gelek and aina.
we walked we talked,byer cried because she saw kecix,hang in there love, u can make it through
then new moon, then ate at noodle station,me,aza,min and wawan talked anout many things since its been ages ,, went home excited to start bloging.huhu
hendry texted and i simply ignore it. nope, i replied..
those are the reason for me to survive

i laughed

situation A:

"diana,kenapa kau tak couple je dgn die, die baik what, not bad la..selalu ade dgn kau.syg kau,buat suprose untuk kau, die sgt baik weh, almost perfect! yg depan mata ade kau tak nampak , yg jauh tu jugak kau kejar..

apparently,those were words that came out from one of my friend without thingking my point of view, saying words randomly is easy when u are not the one sitting in my place or wearing my friggin crocs. do me a favor, and shut the hell up.

situation B:

"kenapa la dengan die, i thought we were over tapi still nak kat aku, what the hell,common, move on la kan..lagipun aku tak minat die sayang apa tah lagi,suka pun tak..tak tahu la macam mana kitorg end up together haritu..

apparently, this is what i think that came out from his thought, i've always waited for something that is so far away, i'll never give up, thats for sure.this is what i say what goes around always comes around.. i see where this all goes..

so i laughed and just so i did, tears run down and i felt like i almost give up, looking in the mirror knowing that,i'll never feel being warm in his warm arms anymore, i'll never kissed his soft lips anymore, i'll never smiled looking at myself knowing that how i wish to change myself so much.
never the less i am recless enough to fall for him.

i miss you

new moon premier

the best okay, i can say that i'll be watching this movie like tons of time kot.


1. is it hard for you to forget the pass?
adee: oo yeah. hell ya. it possible for you to fall in love again?
adee: in the mean time i am not interested. it easy for you to breakdown nowdays and reasons.
adee: yess.because im fragile,, -.- it possible for u to find sumone else?
adee: em , yeah, no , MAYBE.

5.what are you looking foward the most?reasons.
adee:everything. god knows lah why -_-

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

simply the best

time flies

or i shall say, browsing my blog tngok post dulu dulu an. teringat masa lagi 202 hari la spm, mid year exam la mcm mcm lah.. perghh, cant believe do it all come to an end, but it not the ending la kan obviously, i mean i finally almost finish spm doh. how time flies and passes like almost without knowing it. its almost there, we're half way into acomplishing the sweetest part in our life. hows life since i missed out bloging a lot! haha. i pretty much dont want to talk about it well since im moving on and just want to begin a new one starting from today :) because the thing is i dont wanna to look at the past. it sucks, believe me.hmm move on d! a hell lot of a things happen trust me and you dont wanna know. im gonna start bloging again and who knows what i will post next.


all my papers were okay la kot, pray for the best je lah
hmm, i know im not the brilliant type of girl or the face of
a score A student, but i guess im trying my best at this!
im not the one have the brains of an einstein,but im giving my all out!
my mum, she's the best, i would wanna see her happy seing my results i wanna make her proud
but im not putting it at a high hope, just pray and hope that everything will be okay..
''saya tak bijak macam awak''

Friday, November 13, 2009

moving on

moving on to new blog,,
im sorry for a bad person,stay away from me.
here's my final say,

i really am sorry,for all that i did,
i realised that its too late now.
do you know, when u ignore me, i feel like the world is on my shoulder
do you know, it hurts till i become an evil BITCH,
do you know everytime i look at people around me are happy with each other i feel like the world is tumbling down.
i dont know what i have done, i really am sorry.
i shouldnt have wrote the stupid thing in my blog,
big mistake i shall say,
i felt sorry for myself and i felt stupid,
im lost i dont know wht to do nor say,
but now i know,
now i know it all comes down to me,
im sorry, truly am.
i deserve all this crap. to my sisters, im sorry. i love you guys so much,
for god sake, i will not have anything to do with this anymore.

and takpa, i dont mind people calling me gemuk, i am. plus im not beautiful inside even out.
that proves. im sorry.

goodluck everyone, im sorry.

i admit i did a lot of things and mistakes,for all my misbehaviour and stupid mistakes.
i never thought that this day will finally come, the day that i wanted to avoid, the day where i break down and cried for all of my wrong doing,
if i could than i would but i cant,i here by say. im sorry for my life,im sorry for everything..
aku ingin menysusun sepuluh jari memohon maaf atas apa yang telah ku lakukan.
aku bukanlah manusia yang sempurna dan sangat lemah,sesungguhnya semua manusia mempunyai masalah dah dugaan yang diturunkan oleh oleh allah kepada umatnya yang tidak pernah sedar akan kesalahan dalam kehidupan mereka..dengan ini aku memohon agar tuhan ampunkanlah segala dosa dosa ku,sesungguhnya aku merehdhai segala ketentuan ilahi ini ya allah. engkau kurniakanlah kejayaan buat diriku dan sahabatku semoga mereka bahagia disamping orang orang yang mereka sayangi,..amin